take two

I’m going to come right out and say it: maintaining a blog is difficult.

I cannot easily place my finger on it. There is something both forced and disquieting about a blog. Perhaps it is the knowledge that whatever is being published is so quickly pushed into the vast, ephemeral spaces of the internet and, all of a sudden, part of me is lost to an anonymous audience. Maybe trying to shout in an already crowded space strips away at the ego — really solidifies, to some degree, the unimportance of what I have to say. It could just be that I’m lazy and too easily dizzied by the brightness of my screen and the drone of whatever is playing on iTunes.

The only blogs I’ve ever come close to maintaining were my live journal  (I was an angsty 14 year old girl once) and an indie music blog my friend and I created in an earnest attempt to talk about music as casually as you would with your closest of confidants. To say the least, they are both resting somewhere in internet heaven (or hell, for the pessimists).

I started this particular blog with the shortsighted and desperate attempt to get myself writing again. To get motivated in the right way. To reach people I couldn’t readily grab on the street; to be heard, honestly. One formal post, two moderately creative pieces and this blog too lay in the sweetest repose waiting for an inevitable death. But today (TODAY! I want to emphatically exclaim) is the day to muster the courage to say yes and accept whatever destiny lurks ahead. Today is the day to try. I cannot assure you — dear reader, faceless audience –that my attempt will be anything worthwhile. I can’t guarantee anything other than this: I will attempt to portray the truth as I see it and I will try my hardest to transplant a human heart into an age of social networks and dwindling person-to-person contact.

I’ve got an offer for you internet: I’d love to take you to dance, if you’ll have me.